First Day with So and Ramsey in Bangkok

7:30 am - Ramsey bangs on my door and demands to know why I am not awake yet. I get up, shower and dress, and begin our search for breakfast. The never-ending search for food in another country always brings to the foreground the importance of food in our lives overall. My whole day seems organized around food acquisition, consumption and enjoyment.

All three of us decide to stay in Bangkok for one more day and I agree to accompany So and Ramsey on some of their errands so that I can see more of Bangkok. It turns out that many of the Thai who work as hawkers, tuk tuk drivers, street sweepers and do other labour jobs are ethnically Laos but born in Thailand. Ramsey and So have little difficulty communicating with them. Ramsey is slightly disappointed that I haven't picked up any Thai words yet - so I make an effort to learn the word "queen" in Thai - lassa ni. In my defense, I'm saving my energies to learn one fo the Laos languages. The agenda today: go to bank, Canadian embassy, mall for educational DVDs, get olive oil for Ramsey and beads for So. Get a Thai massage!

At the Canadian Embassy, Ramsey shows me his Lao Working Visa. His position is that of expert! As if his ego isn't big enough.

This is my first chance to try the Bangkok subway system, which makes very little sense to me as a new user, but I did see a couple of good design features I just have to mention. First, the hand hold system used inside the subway trains. Genius! The circular ceiling handhold coupled with the parallel ceiling rails to the middle of the train with many dangling red grippers. Very ergonomic and better than the TTC. We need to import this magic. Second, on the subway platform itself there are arrows indicating where the passengers waiting for the train can expect the doors to stop and open at (straight arrows) and where the people waiting should stand (diagonal arrows) in order to be out of the way of the passengers exiting the train. Makes sense to me.

This part of Bangkok is really ultra modern, a touch of Tokyo (but slightly dirtier, and with plant life) in Bangkok. This part of the city really highlights the super trendy aspects of developing Asian countries. Compared to North America, they are way ahead of the curve when it comes to style, the latest in gadgetry, technology and the like. The city is built like a giant gadget. Everything seems exciting, hyper textualized, crazy fast-paced, dense, way more capitalistic and consumerist than we could ever compete with, and very extreme in many ways. There are so many consumer goods it's mind-boggling. The triumvirate of sheer "stuff", the over-packaging and the ubiquitous marketing makes for a depressing combination. The mall (all malls really) are a flashy sad reminder of how far off the path we've come. Ramsey tells me there's a mall, an entire mall dedicated to just hair extensions! Toronto seems positively quaint and small-town compared to places like Bangkok and Tokyo. Big city Asians visiting us must find us very boring. I don't think I could get used to living in a city like Bangkok. How does the 95% Buddhist population fit their spirituality in with this modernization? Will new mental illnesses present themselves? Or will old ones just increase in numbers? Will (non-political) riots take over the streets when a cosmic ennui takes hold of the masses? Or will most find a way to assimilate the two seemingly contradictory ways of life together?

We decide to take a tuk tuk back to our Inn in Khao San. The tuk tuk driver was ethnic Laos and somehow convinces Ramsey that we should do him a favour. The driver says that if he takes foreigners to this industry trade show, they will give him 5 litres of free gasoline. In return he will give us a discount on the fare. I mention that we don't need a discount on an already cheap fare, but Ramsey says we should do this to help the man out. So we do. It begins to rain hard as we reach the "trade show". I know something is wrong when I see Ferraris parked outside. I know we don't belong. It's not until we get inside the building that it becomes comical. We are in a very large gems dealing store. We are taken on a tour of their jem and jewelry making factory and then into their glitzy showroom. We are be-flip-flopped, be-backpacked, wet from the rain and don't looked in any way moneyed, yet to our guide's credit, she shows us many expensive precious stones and jewelry like we are immanent prospective buyers. She explains their origins. It is really silly - we are there for 20 minutes or so. Way too long. I am convinced that our tuk tuk driver has filled up on gas and has taken off on us. But when we finally exit the building, it is still raining and he is still there. We get in the tuk tuk and it takes off speedily. Just as I am remarking on how the stereotype of bad Asian drivers is untrue (because I hadn't seen any accidents yet) a motorcycle grazes the back of our tuk tuk and goes down. The man is okay, but it is a quick reminder to not be lulled into thinking that Bangkok provides a safe vehicular space.

Now that we're back in Khao San we've all taken a mid-evening nap. Yes, even Ramsey - the sleep snob - got in some zzz. I quote him "Something went terribly wrong." Meaning he fell asleep after railing at the weakness of So and I for expressing the need for a bit of a nap. I mean seriously man! I only had 2 hours of sleep last night, and So was jetlagged and only had 5 hours of sleep.

We all feel refreshed and decide to go for one of those famous Thai massages. So loves massages, I have only ever had one professional massage in my life and didn't really like it, and Ramsey has never had one before. We go to one parlor and decide to each get the 1 hour Thai massage. Ramsey expresses worry to the hostess that the massage will be painful. The hostess indicates for him not to worry. I only begin to worry when a man preparing us for the massage washes my feet and I can't stop laughing because it tickles. I wonder if the massage will be an ordeal of tickle torture.

Drum roll please.....It was fabulous! My masseuse was an older woman and had meaty arms and hands and used just the right techniques to make me feel relaxed and thoroughly jelly like. A lot of deep tissue pressure and pulling at joints and a bit of slapping. I couldn't believe it when the hour was over. It felt like 15 minutes but So assured me we had the full service. So loved her massage as well. Ramsey...oh Ramsey Ramsey Ramsey. Maybe his hesitation with the hostess with some sort of premonition, but he said that it was an extremely painful, torturous and horrible experience, he was still in pain now, though he thought that it must have released some endorphins. His masseuse, a man, used primarily his strong thumbs and elbows. A different technique than was used on So or me. I can't stop laughing at Ramsey's description. I think I'm going to have a fit. He said he thought that his facial grimaces of pain were enough communication to the man to soften up, that's why he didn't say anything verbally. Evidently he didn't grimace enough.

Bangkok and Khao San Road!

About 22 hours after I take off from Toronto, I'm in Bangkok. I can't even process the craziness of this act - what would Marco Polo think?

The taxi driver takes me from the airport to the trendiest district in Bangkok - Banglamphu - and to an area called Khao San, a place that is arguably "the most high-profile bastard child of the age of independent travel" according to the Lonely Planet Guide. At midnight I find myself in the Siam Oriental Inn after a fruitless and tiring search (my baggage has tripled in weight) for another recommended Guesthouse. I have a room for two with a private bathroom cause that was the cheapest they had left - still only 280 Baht / ~$10 per night.

Though it's late and I'm jet-lagged, tired, and my body aches from the plane, I am drawn outside by the glitz and energy of Khao San. It is a mixture of cheap eats, accommodations, bars, clubs, shops and street hawkers, riddled with tourists from every nation and walk of life. Hippies, gap-year kids, soft and hard-faced backpackers, and semi-permanent tourists and expats. They all seem beautiful, tired, boisterous and slightly apathetic - part of this is the heat and part is the effect of being a tourist in Khao San. There are hordes of them looking for cheap beer, strong liquor, and a good deal, and they outnumber the Thai. The locals are the vendors - they run the food stalls, restaurants, massage and nail parlors and other services. There are street musicians and pad thai cooks with sizzling woks on the streets. There are sex trade workers, all lovely and gorgeous - some impossibly so - and many of them transvestites. There are drunken and sober men walking arm in arm with these fantasies. There are maimed beggars on the streets, and face-masked locals that sweep up after the detritus of the tourists.

I am sorely dehydrated and go for two slices of watermelon and mango-pineapple fruit shake. The pad thai temps me but I settle on three spring rolls instead. As I eat these from a carton with a large toothpick, I notice a group of Thai kids, maybe 13 to 16 years old, sitting in the gutter. One has a guitar and they all begin to sing some catchy English song with gusto, they begin to dance and sway and get really into it. They put on a little show. I can't help but smile and bop along to their enthusiasm.

As I'm enjoying their performance I notice something odd about my spring rolls. There is a bright red dot shining on them, and it doesn't matter where I move the carton of rolls, the dot follows. I imagine my spring rolls being the target of a sniper. I look up and around but can't spot my opponent. Finally I spy a group of tourists on the third floor of a bar above. I see them and they smile, wave and laugh. I think they beckon me to join them, but I was feeling fine and wanted to be a part of the street life instead. I see Thai artists selling paintings. I am drawn to one and have to resist buying it. I always want to buy art when I travel, but it's not the most practical thing to buy large paintings when you're backpacking.

Walking around I've met several tourists. They have mixed feelings about Khao San. Some hate it, some love it. This Israeli man who had been in Bangkok for six years told me he loved it and there was no better place to be for women if you were a bachelor. This guy from South Africa kept on looking at my breasts as he asked me the typical male questions - it was a deja vu of Cuba. A nice woman gave me the skivvy on the prices for street food - she prevented me from paying a 500% mark-up! I "talked" to this old Thai man and he gave me leads to find a bike for tomorrow - even a place with free bikes. A tourist told me it was too dangerous to ride Bangkok - I am not surprised, but I see many locals on bikes going slowly, without helmets of course. I will take my cue from that.

It's almost 4am. I take a cold (but that means luke warm near the equator) shower and fall asleep like a stone, and Khao San is still humming.

(Image taken from the web)