The Lao people have no problem telling you that you're fat - dui - or thin - joi - to your face. It's just a description. Like green or brown eyes. Fat here isn't a bad thing. You'll be called dui if you've got a bit of meat on you and this makes you look healthy and like you'd be a strong and capable worker in the fields. In fact, it's considered desirable to be "fat". The students call me dui and Ramsey said that my body type is considered quite attractive here. This makes me laugh.
When Lao people are dating, they don't touch or kiss or hold hands, not until they're married - pre-martial sex is forbidden. When they hit prepubescence, girls and boys stop touching each other all together and the touch becomes something taboo between the sexes. Inter-gender touching is considered sacred at this point. This naturally has the effect of increasing the sexual tension between the sexes. However, touching amongst members of the same gender is fine, and indeed, among the Lao boys and men, there is more freedom of physical affection than there is in the West without fear of being considered gay. As well, the attitude towards homosexuality in Laos is fairly liberal. So shows me some subtle hand gestures that indicate that people want to have sex with one another. A girl will hold a guy's hand with her middle finger pressed into his palm. A guy will indicate his intentions by rubbing her thumb with his finger.
Both these gestures are illicit and are done in the city among some of the youth. I now fear that giving Ramsey a playful punch in the arm might brand me a brazen woman. No wonder why Ramsey's hugs have become so horrible...oh wait...they've always been bad.
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